Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Here's Why 9/11 Conspiracy Theories Still Thrive In America

WASHINGTON -- It was a sunny and clear Tuesday morning in Knoxville, Tennessee. Sitting in the kitchen of my girlfriend's apartment, I was eating a bowl of cereal -- Honey Nut Cheerios, I still remember -- and browsing the web before making the 15-minute drive to campus for class.



I was looking for news about the big game, a top 10 SEC matchup between the Tennessee Volunteers and the Florida Gators. I was a junior at the University of Tennessee, and just 10 days earlier I'd broken my wrist during the season opener. It required surgery, so I was going to be sidelined for the next six to eight weeks.



Once on the Internet, I caught my first glimpse of the North Tower on fire, with smoke billowing from the top floors. I remember taking a moment to say a prayer for everyone affected. Then, right before my eyes, a plane flew into another building, the South Tower. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was horrified. But I didn't know exactly what this meant for my country.



A 20-year-old college kid consumed with school and the football season, I never thought much about what was going on outside my own world. Terrorists had attacked our nation, but I was sure the government would hunt down those responsible. Even years later, while playing in the NFL, I figured al Qaeda would soon be destroyed and the nation would move on. After all, who could challenge the superiority of America's badass military?



Fast forward to 2008. A week or so after losing Super Bowl XLII that February as a member of the New England Patriots, I had a long stretch of time on my hands. To take my mind off what I could've done differently in the game -- was there a block I missed somewhere? anything? -- I found myself browsing the web once again.



A young senator from Illinois by the name of Barack Obama had been making international headlines, winning the Iowa caucuses and the South Carolina primary. I was pleased to see someone of color running for the nation's highest office. Although he was affable, well educated and an exceptional orator, I never imagined he had a chance to actually win -- until he actually started winning. I wanted to learn more about his background.



So I turned to YouTube. An unguided journey through the bowels of YouTube can lead to some awfully strange places, as it did for me that day. Somewhere amid my research of Obama, I stumbled across a few videos claiming that individuals within the United States government had conspired with Osama bin Laden decades ago.



My first thought about a bin Laden alliance was, yeah right, but I clicked on the link anyway, out of curiosity. It turned out the claim was true -- and thus began my journey down the rabbit hole.



I was surprised to learn the CIA had assisted the Mujahedeen leading up to and during their fight to repel the 1979 Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. So had bin Laden -- he sent funds and fighters. My common sense had told me I was crazy to think my country had any connection to militants who would later engage in terror activities around the world, including against the U.S. and her interests. There began my distrust both of the government and of my own common sense regarding the events of 9/11.



If I'd been so wrong about the alliance with bin Laden, what else was I wrong about? What else was the government hiding? This, for me at least, is how the door opened. My journey into and out of conspiracy land, however embarrassing it was for me when a recent pile-on began --







-- is useful to think about, because I am by no means alone. And we ignore or ridicule conspiracy thinking at our peril.



Conspiracy theories are not a recent phenomenon in America, said history professor Robert Goldberg, director of the Tanner Humanities Center and co-director of the Middle East Center at the University of Utah, but they have changed in one fundamental way: Before the second half of the 20th century, conspiracy theories focused on people who were seen as outsiders -- Jews, Catholics, Communists. Today's conspiracies focus on insiders -- the government, Wall Street and the military. (Given the intertwined history of anti-Semitism and conspiracism, one constant appears to be Jews.)



According to Goldberg, the fascination with conspiracies is "so normal" in part because "you can find a variety of conspiracies, real conspiracies that have occurred in world and American history." Those, he said, give sustenance to the belief that history is conspiracy.



I soon found myself watching a documentary titled "Loose Change" and listening often to conspiracy theorist Alex Jones' radio show. There is an art to building a credible conspiracy theory, and as Goldberg explained, "the keys are media expertise, passion, appearance as Paul Reveres -- that is, patriots without self-interest or anything to gain, who only seek to reveal the 'truth.'" Goldberg also said that while financial gain may not be the conspiracist's motive, it doesn't hurt either. "Note these conspiracy entrepreneurs may be sincere, but they are doing well financially with their radio programs, films, presentations, etc.," he said.



The genius of "Loose Change," a series of films positing a 9/11 conspiracy that have been viewed tens of millions of times online, is the power of vision. Seeing is believing, and people tend to believe something more if they've seen it with their own eyes. The narrator's ability to dive into complex physics or aerodynamics issues, and break them down in simple terms, brings an additional legitimacy to the overall project.



"This is something that everybody is vulnerable to. There's no person or worldview that is immune from it," said Michael Wood, an expert in the psychology of conspiracies who lectures at the University of Winchester in the U.K.



Another important element in spreading conspiracy theories is to raise questions, in which much dot-connecting is implied, and let the viewers or listeners draw their own conclusions. "Loose Change" gives the viewer the feeling that he and the narrator are on a collective search for answers, and that bond engenders trust.



The film "holds the attitude of 'we're just asking questions,'" said Wood. "'We're just going to highlight some of these things that are wrong with the official story.'"



When I began to take my views to Twitter, I often framed them in a similar way, not presenting firm conclusions but rather asking questions about the official story and tweeting out the various 9/11 conspiracy narratives.








Because I felt I had reached my own conclusions, based on my own research, my position was that much more unshakable. Contrast the respect with which many conspiracy theorists treat their audience with the government's posture, which is to offer as little information as possible. Whatever I read in the media afterward, I viewed through the prism of "Loose Change." (Indeed, surveys consistently show that people who believe in conspiracy theories are paradoxically far more informed about an issue than those who don't. If you've ever debated a climate-change denier, you've seen this phenomenon firsthand.)



"You have this secrecy industry in the United States, this idea of keeping millions and millions of papers classified as secrets, and where many Americans believe where there's smoke, there's fire," said Goldberg. Conspiracy theories thrive on this: "Why are they keeping this stuff classified? Why do we need so much secrecy? There must be something that the government isn't telling us."



"Add to that Vietnam, add to that Watergate, the Iran-Contra scandal, the scandals of the 1990s," Goldberg said, "and you get a sense that the government isn't telling us everything we need to know and that there's things being hidden."



Beyond the reality of actual conspiring, Goldberg noted that Hollywood -- starting with "Birth of a Nation," through "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," "The Parallax View," and on to countless films today -- has repeatedly trafficked in conspiracy theories. "A variety of films convince us that conspiracies exist, that they have power, that they have threatened us," he said.



Then the post-9/11 invasion of Iraq was a complete fiasco, in which hundreds of thousands of Iraqis were losing their lives and millions were being displaced, while contractors like Blackwater (now Academi) and Halliburton (where Dick Cheney had been CEO) saw profits soar. I figured something more must be going on.



Even beyond the Hollywood influence, I was particularly primed to believe what I was hearing. For many within the African-American community, it is almost commonplace to believe, for instance, that the federal government has been and/or is flooding neighborhoods with guns and drugs that fuel violence within the black community.



From the very beginnings of American history (when Africans were sold into slavery, beaten, raped, tortured and murdered, counted as three-fifths of a person, denied the right to vote, essentially treated as less than human) through present times, African-Americans have felt slighted by the federal government. During the civil rights era of the 1960s, under the FBI's covert project COINTELPRO (with assistance from local law enforcement), numerous peaceful activists and groups (including beloved figures like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Muhammad Ali) were targeted and put under illegal surveillance. FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, falsely convinced that these groups were a danger to national security as fronts for Communists or co-conspirators with Communists, ordered infiltration, psychological warfare and harassment. Over years, this government hostility led to multiple deaths and wrongful incarcerations and no doubt further undermined trust in the federal government. Activist Fred Hampton was flat-out assassinated.



j edgar hoover

J. Edgar Hoover's own conspiracy theories helped to foster generations of conspiracy theories in others.






Investigative reporter Gary Webb, depicted in the recent film "Kill the Messenger," touched a nerve in the black community in 1996 when he identified two Contra fundraisers who were the major suppliers of cocaine to then Los Angeles drug kingpin Freeway Rick Ross. While those wholesalers escaped prosecution throughout the U.S.-backed Contra war, hundreds of thousands of young black men were locked away for minor drug offenses.



Many in the African-American community point to the Tuskegee experiment as further proof that the federal government has contempt for black people. In a 40-year-long study, "people who had syphilis were not treated, even after the invention of penicillin they weren't treated," said Goldberg. Knowing that leads to additional "conspiracy thinking within the black community which is, 'AIDS is a government invention, created in a government lab,'" he said.



In fact, Goldberg said, one-third of Americans overall share this belief about the origins of AIDS. But specifically within the African-American community, as I understood it and as Goldberg explained it, the logic is "based on the idea that this has been done to us in the past, so why won't it be done to us in the present or the future."



It shouldn't be surprising then that while polls find most African-Americans don't think the government knew something about 9/11 beforehand and turned a blind eye or worse, they also find that African-Americans are more likely than other groups to say they don't know.



According to a 2006 Scripps Howard poll, 36 percent of all Americans believed it was "somewhat likely" or "very likely" that federal officials assisted in the 9/11 attacks or took no action to stop them because they wanted the United States to go to war in the Middle East.



Democracy requires trust to function. And if more than one-third of Americans distrust the government enough to believe that it had something to do with the worst terrorist attack on our soil, that's something the government -- and the media -- ought to do more than poke fun at.



Goldberg pointed to Americans' evolving answer to one particular poll question since the 1950s. "The poll question was, 'Do you trust the government to do what is right all or most of the time? And in the 1950s," he said, "75 percent of Americans answered, 'Yes, I trust the government to do what is right all or most of the time.'" But "what's happened since then is this tremendous erosion of trust and faith in the federal government. And you can see it through Vietnam, you can see it through Watergate, you could see it through the 1980s and 1990s, such that by the time the year 2000 rolls around, you have a mirror image -- that is, 25 percent of Americans trust the government to do what is right all or most of the time."



My own entry into the conspiracy world was typical, said Wood, the University of Winchester lecturer. When people learn of actual government conspiracies (such as the National Security Agency's spying), they tend to become distrustful of the government in general. According to Wood, "something that damages trust like the Tuskegee syphilis experiment or MKUltra," a CIA study of the effects of mind-altering drugs on unsuspecting test subjects, can exacerbate belief in conspiracy theories.



I got deeper and deeper into the conspiracy world than I'd like to admit -- to the point that my good friend Steve Boucher was calling me out in a 2010 interview with Yahoo. It was partly the accumulation of it all that made me start doubting where I was headed. To listen to Alex Jones, everything is a conspiracy, every tragedy a false flag, every explanation a coverup. I began to wonder.



alex jones

Followers of Alex Jones hear about endless conspiracies -- everything from fake moon landings to a totalitarian world government.






I think the moment the conspiracists finally lost me came when they started proclaiming that President Obama was the Antichrist, essentially sent to America, presumably from Kenya, by an evil cabal to destroy U.S. sovereignty and establish a global government. Obama has done plenty that I've disagreed with, as my Twitter feed will attest, but the Antichrist?



As my doubts about the conspiracy theorists grew, a close friend of mine, Amy Palcic, urged me to rethink 9/11 and to expand my research beyond YouTube videos and Alex Jones. During the early stages of the NFL lockout in 2011, I had extra time on my hands and did a lot of reading, principally The Shadow Factory: The Ultra-Secret NSA From 9/11 to the Eavesdropping on America , by James Bamford.



What I gained was a much clearer lens through which to view everything I'd been learning. I came to realize how inconsistent some of the conspiracy talk was. If the goal was to invade Iraq, why frame a terrorist hiding in Afghanistan using Egyptian and Saudi foot soldiers?



In the fall of 2013, I was watching a game and, with a punt looming on 4th down and 16 seconds remaining in the first half, I tweeted out the score, assuming the returner would catch the punt and the half would be over, following a kneel-down play. But the punt was muffed, the Patriots recovered the ball inside the Broncos' 40, and suddenly there was a reasonable threat to tap in a field goal, adding three points to the score. I quipped on Twitter that I was similar to a BBC reporter who, the conspiracists say, reported the collapse of a building on 9/11 before it actually happened -- more supposed evidence that insiders had knowledge ahead of time. The tweet was used to claim that my thinking hadn't, in fact, evolved.










But by then, I had been dismissing the "inside job" line on Twitter for quite some time, as well as in an interview with Mother Jones. Even those of us who have moved on from conspiracy theorizing may sometimes default to the language and ideas that animate that culture. Still, my quick comment would become part of a Twitter storm nearly a year later.



The more I read Bamford's book, the more I began to see what had really happened that tragic day. We were attacked by terrorists, and there were multiple institutional failures within the federal government. The George W. Bush White House was at the very least unimaginative and deaf to warnings about terrorist attacks on U.S. soil that appeared in CIA briefings for months leading up to 9/11. The government was incompetent, not a co-conspirator.



Taking a step back, I came to understand how much bureaucratic infighting, turf protection and ass covering came before and after 9/11. As I learned more about how the government worked (and didn't work) through reading books and multiple news sites, both right and left, I came to agree with what Philip Shenon, a veteran investigative journalist who covered 9/11 and its aftermath closely, said when asked about 9/11 conspiracies. He explained that he had "trouble accepting some of the big conspiracy theories about 9/11 if only because, after 20 years in and out of Washington, I just can't imagine the federal government being nearly competent enough to carry out what would have been such a vast, complicated operation in total secrecy."



The young filmmaker whose video helped start me down this path has since gone through his own evolution. In an interview earlier this year, Dylan Avery, director of "Loose Change," was asked whether he really thought the Bush administration planned the 9/11 attacks. "In 2005 or 2006, if you asked if the Bush administration planned the attacks, I would have said, ‘F**k yeah,'" he said.



But today he's no longer convinced. "I don’t think Bush could plan a bowl of cereal," he said.



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Monday, December 1, 2014

A Quick Salute To The NBA's Best Football Team

It’s always tough to contextualize the Bulls next to every other contender. They don’t have the traditional superstars of a powerhouse, they don’t spend a ton of money, they don’t run teams off the court with offense, and, more often than not, the most dominant personality is their coach. The best way to understand the Bulls is to think of them as the closest thing the NBA has to an NFL team.





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Obama Wants To Help Buy 50,000 Body Cameras For The Nation's 630,000 Police Officers

The White House announced Monday that President Barack Obama will sign an executive order meant to improve training for local law enforcement agencies that receive equipment through federal grant programs. Among the proposed initiatives is a 3-year, $263 million investment package, of which $75 million would go toward covering half the cost of 50,000 officer-mounted cameras -- a technology that has been widely cited as a necessary police reform following the death of Michael Brown, an unarmed black teenager shot and killed by Ferguson, Missouri police officer Darren Wilson in August.



Monday's announcement was greeted by some as a victory for transparency in law enforcement. Yet with almost 630,000 police officers working nationwide, it's not clear how much of an effect even 50,000 cameras would have.



Body cameras have long been a popular proposal among police reform advocates, who say that documenting interactions between officers and civilians can help to eliminate bias and uncertainty regarding alleged misconduct by either party. One frequently cited pilot program in Rialto, California, found that between 2012 and 2013, in the first year of the city using police cameras, the number of complaints filed against officers fell by 88 percent and use of force by officers fell by almost 60 percent.



Despite resistance from some police officials and union members who have called the cameras an unnecessary distraction for officers, departments in major cities like Chicago, New York, Minneapolis and Washington, D.C., as well as smaller cities like Ferguson, have started using cameras, or have at least announced plans to do so.



Obama's $75 million program, which still requires congressional approval, would seek to ease the financial burden of outfitting police officers with cameras by providing a 50 percent funding match to states and localities that decide to participate. (Individual cameras cost between $300 and $400, on top of which are the costs associated with storing and maintaining the data recorded by the devices.) But with no ability to compel local police departments to get behind this move, the administration must simply hope that enough law enforcement volunteers are willing to join the program.



In addition -- as the Police Executive Research Forum presented to the Department of Justice in a 2014 report -- there are still plenty of concerns from both the law enforcement and civil rights communities about how, exactly, a large-scale police camera program would be implemented. Which interactions, for example, would be recorded? How would the review process work? Such questions are further complicated by state laws that differ on when and where people may be recorded, as well as how such recordings may be stored and accessed by the public.



Monday also saw the release of a White House review on the programs that provide military equipment to local police departments -- a project first undertaken in August in response to criticism over militarized police behavior in Ferguson. It's difficult to ignore the sheer difference in scale between Obama's proposed police camera program and the sum of all federal grant programs to local law enforcement. In the past five years, grants from five different federal agencies have totaled about $18 billion -- money that has gone toward everything from office supplies to mine-resistant armored vehicles, or MRAPs, fit for the battlefield.



A recent review of a handful of MRAPs given to local law enforcement agencies found that the federal government had spent $5.7 million on these types of vehicles in New York state alone. The administration's report documented a total of 617 MRAPs and 616 aircraft among the 460,000 total pieces of controlled property currently maintained by local police forces.



In its announcement Monday, the White House noted a "lack of consistency" in how these federal grants have been implemented. Yet at the same time, the White House review claims the programs have been useful, and provides no suggestions for repealing or significantly restructuring them. Instead, the administration plans to focus more generally on improving "training" and accountability, as well as signing an additional executive order to create a Task Force on 21st Century Policing. This group will examine "how to promote effective crime reduction while building public trust," and will organize its findings in a report for the president within 90 days.



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Have You Heard of #GivingTuesday?

It's hard to believe the holidays are here again. Every year they seem to come a little earlier. Black Friday now starts on Thursday, and the most popular gifts are often sold out online on Cyber Monday before they even hit the shelves. This is the eager opening to the season, and for many people the beginning of the search for the perfect gifts for those they love. But to me the most important opportunity the holiday season offers us can't be found amongst sales and discounts. This is a chance to remember all we have to be thankful for, and not only to get but to give, especially to those struggling in poverty this holiday season.



I'm proud to say I'm not alone in my desire to enjoy the spirit of giving. Right now, a movement is growing throughout the country as people rethink how to best honor those they love. The result has been #GivingTuesday, which falls on December 2 this year.



Conceived of in 2012 in the midst of the economic downturn and now in its third year, it's become not only a day to remember giving, but a movement. Ten thousand organizations participated last year and more than three million people spread the word on social media. The message is simple: One of the greatest gifts we can give is the gift of giving back.



As president of Heartland Alliance, the Midwest's leading anti-poverty organization, it's the nature of my work that I see the faces of those who need this support. In the last few weeks I've met Kimberly, a mother of three, one of her sons just two weeks old, who left her abusive partner and found herself in desperate need of housing, healthcare, and a job. I've met Mohammad, his wife Jiana, and their four beautiful children, refugees from Iraq who fled to America as refugees with nothing but the clothes on their back. And I've met Mary Pat, a Navy veteran and LGBT senior unable to afford a safe place to live, on the verge of homelessness.



And in the end, that's who #GivingTuesday is about - the people, like Kimberly, Mohammad, Jiana, and Mary Pat - who so often go unseen. This day gives us an opportunity to honor our loved ones by giving a gift to the causes that matter to them, and to bring back the spirit of the holidays.



So this year, as you're searching for the perfect gift or stocking stuffer, consider that it may not be a sweater or the latest gadget. It can be as easy as sharing that moment of change through #GivingTuesday and changing the reality we see every day on the streets.



It's easy to support local nonprofits through #GivingTuesday if you are so inclined. Visit givingtuesday.org and find a cause that moves you. You can review reports on how effective each nonprofit is and support them at a level you're comfortable with. You can also choose to volunteer through the site and learn how to participate in the #GivingTuesday promotional campaign through social media.



To view Heartland Alliance's #GivingTuesday campaign, click here or visit us on Facebook, Twitter (@heartlandhelps) and YouTube (HeartlandAlliance).



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The Most Unnecessary Gifts That Gobs Of Money Can Buy Are All In One Gift Guide

'Tis the season for gift guides, but the 2014 Neiman Marcus Christmas Book is a true wonder. First off, if you've never been to a Neiman Marcus department store, that's probably because they exist at the fanciest malls and avenues in only 21 states with the largest concentrations of rich people. They hawk all the usual high-end fare -- red-soled shoes and beauty products from companies eager to load you up with free samples -- in old-fashioned seasonal catalogs that maybe your grandmother still gets in the mail. They're predictably exclusive.



The Neiman Marcus Christmas Book, however, does a thoroughly impressive job in showing us how hard it must be to choose gifts for people who want for literally nothing. We can only imagine that's where someone got the idea for a pint-sized Mercedes coupe or a personalized pool ball set. People eat it up, because otherwise Neiman Marcus wouldn't sell these things on its website. We are 85 percent sure that is how capitalism works.



Anyway, here are our favorite gift "ideas" for your mother, brother-in-law, illegitimate half-sister or neighbor's exotic pet:







Fake Acoustic or Electric Guitar Bag, $5,195



guitar bagg



This fake guitar bag that is shaped like a guitar -- but doesn't play Wonderwall because it is not actually a functioning guitar -- will still set you back far more than a counterfeit instrument should. Every inch of its deceitful surface is covered in "Austrian crystals," which are clear rocks from the fabled lands of Austria, where it was also made, probably with magic. We can think of 5,195 things on which you could better spend your money.



Equivalent purchase: One real, custom Gibson Les Paul electric guitar







Rabbit Fur Coat for Girls, $395



rabbit fur coat girls



Only one left as of this writing! Each coat is made of real fur and designed by a former painter who realized she could make a much better living capitalizing off rich people's lust for impractical status pieces. Actual rabbits gave their hippity hoppity lives this holiday season so someone's kid could wear a hospital-white coat for the remaining few months of cold. Next season, each and every one of these fluffy things will be relegated to the back of so many closets, because our little minnows grow up so fast.



Equivalent purchase: Day-long inflatable bounce house rental with safety attendant







Gold Top Hat Champagne Cooler, $189



gold top hat



"You'll be putting on the Ritz [pause for knowing laughter] when you add this unique wine cooler to your entertainment serveware," says Neiman Marcus. It will look so fabulous on the table next to your chip-and-dip made from vintage spats and dishware made from retired monocles! While mostly aluminum alloy, the cooler is plated in 24-carat gold as shiny as Rockefeller's bald head. The Future Billionaires' Club approves.



Equivalent purchase: 12 30-racks of PBR from Walmart







Mink Fur Backpack, $7,830



mink backpack



Here it is: the most impractical backpack this vast and varied planet has to offer. Smothered in real mink fur -- which comes from a mink, which is basically an otter, which is to say, an animal that's cute as shit -- this backpack features a satin lining and two sizable front pockets. It might serve someone, somewhere, very well during the laborious journey between the drawing room and the ladies' DAR meeting, and then all the way downtown for the charity auction. The driver always gets the addresses wrong, doesn't he? Pishposh.



Equivalent purchase: 784 hamsters OR 8 AKC-certified Dalmatian puppies







Flammable Golden Matchbox, $175



matchbox brass



At first we saw this and were like, Okay, it's a forever matchbox. In terms of things we'd rather have last forever, matchboxes aren't really up there with sunglasses or phone screens, but to each their own. Then we noticed that it's covered in linen, which has all the flame-retardant properties of a parched sapling. And it doesn't even come with matches. This is stupid.



Equivalent purchase: 2.7 barrels of crude oil







Whimsical Scented Candles, $85



candlesss



Fools who place this order will receive not several Paschal candles' worth of wax, but ONE three-inch tea light. Made of crushed animal bone china that's been hand-painted AND hand-gilded -- none of that plebeian machine gilding here -- each one is filled with soy wax in one of three floral scents. Those Yankee Candle shops in the mall may have reeked of a thousand rotten potpourri satchels, but at least you got what you paid for.



Equivalent purchase: 6.5 copies of Taylor Swift's album "1989"







Leather Travel Journal, $255



travel journal



This pebbled leather journal, which is for documenting travels because it says TRAVEL JOURNAL across the front, is available in one inoffensive shade of beige. When you write your TRAVEL NOTES on its pages, the travel journal safely embraces them in its lambskin binding. None of your words get jumbled up or fall out onto the floor as with other, lesser journals. At five-and-a-half inches high, this journal is also light and portable, unlike others that cannot even be lifted by the strongest man.



Equivalent purchase: 75 Double-Double burgers from In-N-Out







Crystal Beatnik Cat Purse, $5,595



beatnik cat



We understand that art is subjective and its often sky-high price tag can be justified by its cultural importance and a need to support the artist. Perhaps this minaudière is a critique of the beat generation's true intellectual contribution -- a visual cacophony as shamelessly gauche to our modern aesthetic as the beatniks' dress and manner was to those planted in the midcentury mainstream. Perhaps the ghost of William S. Burroughs whispers lines of poetry when its clasp is unlocked. Perhaps its thousands of Austrian crystals were applied by the unerring hands of Austrian fairies, whose workers' union secured them proper compensation.



We think it's just an ugly bedazzled cat.



Equivalent purchase: 562 Moleskine notebooks







Rottweiler Statement T-Shirt, $570



rottweiler tee



Neiman Marcus suggests a perfect gift for the "animal lover" in your life is a $570 Givenchy t-shirt emblazoned with the snarling face of a demon Rottweiler obviously salivating at the thought of sinking its teeth into human flesh. Dashboard Confessional CD not included.



Equivalent purchase: 63 tubes of black eyeliner







Custom Locket-Making Adventure with a Total Stranger, $100,000



lockets



One lucky Neiman Marcus customer will embark on noble three-day quest to discover the most perfect family locket in the whole wide world, as if we can't just set family photos as the background to our iDevices nowadays. Jewelry designer and total rando Monica Rich Kosann will be along for the ride. "Together" they'll select a stone and "collaborate" on the design, Neiman Marcus says, although we suspect that process will be much less buddy-pal and much more civilian-dictator. Upon request, Kosann will take a family portrait that will be printed so small, whether it was taken with a DSLR or 20th-century flip phone doesn't really matter. Airfare is not included, because it is merely the change a rich person gathers from the seat cushions of his or her couch.



Equivalent purchase: 833 goats from Heifer International







Vanity Fair Almost-The-Oscars-But-Not Experience, $425,000



vanity fair oscar party



For a price that should encourage serious bidders to take a long, soul-searching sabbatical, Neiman Marcus will send one lucky recipient and a friend to "mix, mingle and revel" with celebrities at the annual Vanity Fair Oscar party, which is somehow advertised as "the night's most coveted event." The experience also includes a spa day, fancy dinner, styling and transportation to and from the event -- which, again, is not the main event. What a whirlwind! But get this -- as part of the deal, $400,000 will be donated to Neiman Marcus' charity to support arts education. So the experience is really just a $25,000 perk to being a big donor, which is, like, sort of fine. Whatever.



Equivalent purchase: 1,118 tickets to Burning Man







The House of Creed Fragrance Journey, $475,000



fragrancw



Need a new perfume? Neiman Marcus invites you to skip the malls that reek of processed cinnamon pastries, pack your mink backpack and flit off to Paris! You are a snowflake, and your signature scent shouldn't be anything less. But while the Journey may begin as a trip to discover the perfect combination of olfactory sensations, the chosen recipient may well discover herself, too, during a day trip to the French countryside, private museum tours, fine dining, "and other experiences befitting the royally amazing you." Vom. A few months later, buckets of scent show up at your door.



Equivalent purchase: 79,299 cans of Axe body spray







Popcorn Triad, $50



popcorn



No one likes this shit.



Equivalent purchase: $50 Applebee's gift card







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LOOK: Workers And Students Leave Jobs And Classes To Participate In Nationwide Walkout For Ferguson

Chicago Police To Begin Body Camera Pilot Program By Early Next Year



By Fiona Ortiz



CHICAGO, Dec 1 (Reuters) - The head of the Chicago Police Department, the second biggest in the United States, said on Monday its officers will start wearing body cameras and it will make other changes after a fatal police shooting in Ferguson, Missouri, in August set off a national debate on race and policing.



Superintendent Garry McCarthy said body cameras will be in use by late January by police officers who volunteered for a pilot program, as soon as the department works out how to store the camera recordings.



"We have a lot of work to do in the post-Ferguson world," McCarthy said at a news conference.



Police departments around the United States have been using body cameras to make officers more careful about using force and to reduce complaints and lawsuits. President Barack Obama asked Congress on Monday for $263 million to pay for body cameras for police officers in response to the national uproar over the Aug. 9 killing of unarmed black teenager Michael Brown by Darren Wilson, a white police officer, in the St. Louis suburb of Ferguson.



Like many other U.S. cities, Chicago has seen frequent demonstrations since Brown was killed. Protests surged last week after a grand jury decided not to indict Wilson, who resigned from the force this weekend.



Chicago police have shot and killed 100 people over the past 6 years. Although the shootings are almost always found to be legally justified, the City of Chicago has payed out millions of dollars in civil settlements to families of some people killed by the police.



About 80 percent of the people killed by Chicago police are black men, most of them young. The city's population is one-third African American.



McCarthy said he has also changed the way the police department tells the public about fatal police shootings.



Instead of the police union handling communications after a police shooting, McCarthy said, he has instructed district commanders to immediately release preliminary information about the shooting, to tell influential community leaders what happened and to hold community meetings.



"We had a couple police shootings after Ferguson and in almost every case we saw people protesting and in some cases trying to inflame the situation by putting out bad information. So it became really clear that we had to get better and quicker at putting out good information," he said. (Reporting by Fiona Ortiz; Editing by Mary Wisniewski)





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