Monday, July 28, 2014

21 New And Improved Names For Boring, Everyday Stuff

Words are hard. Whether it's due to a language barrier, a post-op haze or something else entirely, the world's struggle with the English language is real. And we feel for you! We really do.



But why not celebrate our occasional lapses in memory? After all, linguistic slip-ups can result in some pretty ingenious new names for everyday things. Can't remember the word for donuts? We believe the phrase you're searching for is, "Sugar Bagels."



Take a look at some of the funniest alternative names for things below and feel free to start using them immediately.





space light

Shoutout to XKCD for always being relevant.



porksicles

Shoutout to Aziz Ansari's alter ego, who'd want us to treat ourselves.



water with corners

Shoutout to slimydog for quick thinking.



potato sticks

Shoutout to RexErection, who struggled more than most.



finger pants

Shoutout to us, because we're sometimes creative.



horse tornado

Shoutout to disguisenburg for being neighborly.



sneeze paper

Shoutout to EnragedPorkchop for having weird friends.



sugar bagels

Shoutout to the Redbull that allowed us to think up this one, too.



vibrating midget bird

Shoutout to banana_antlers for mocking the infirm.



kittens 4

Shoutout to iminclinedtopursue52 for befriending a German person.



spray scream

Shoutout to Clown_Prince_Of_Web for sharing.



cereal water

Shoutout to iwannaelroyyou for changing how we view dairy.



raw toast

Shoutout to Murrello for proving that mornings are often difficult.



fish museum

Shoutout to kittymissles for perpetuating misinformation.



campground for dead

Shoutout to innosins for not making up lame excuses.



electric hose

Shoutout to Boondoggle for such descriptive prowess.



bird leaf

Shoutout to doctor_jeff for publicly humiliating his friend.



burrito blankets

Shoutout to MSeltz for loving burritos.



sand moose

Shoutout to miss-apple-pie for having good ideas.



tiny lobster

Shoutout to Aziz again because we like him a lot.



roll of inches

Shoutout to UniverseProjects for sparking this post.



Shoutout to Getty for background images.





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