Playing with Guns

You shouldn't play with guns, unless you do it the way "Jim" apparently did.

His gun play -- a (seemingly) satirical petition at change.org -- has enveloped the looming Republican National Convention in Cleveland this summer in awkward surrealism and forced the three Republican presidential candidates to duck for cover from their own words.

The petition, posted by Hyperationalist, who later identified himself to certain curious reporters as a proponent of gun sanity named Jim, demanded that the Quicken Loans Arena, where the convention will be held, lift its ban on guns in the building and that the Republican National Committee explain "how a venue so unfriendly to Second Amendment rights" was chosen for the convention.

"We are all too familiar with the mass carnage that can occur when citizens are denied their basic God-given rights to carry handguns or assault weapons in public," the petition reads. "EVERY AMERICAN HAS THE RIGHT TO PROTECT AND DEFEND THEIR FAMILY. With this irresponsible and hypocritical act of selecting a 'gun-free zone' for the convention, the RNC has placed its members, delegates, candidates and all US citizens in grave danger.

We must take a stand. We cannot allow the national nominating convention of the party of Lincoln and Reagan to be hijacked by weakness and political correctness. The policies of the Quicken Loans Arena do not supersede the rights given to us by our Creator in the U.S. Constitution.

The petition has garnered over 50,000 signatures and forced responses from the Secret Service and the three candidates, all of whom had stood four-square against gun-free zones as dangerous invitations for terrorists and psychos to have a little fun. Donald Trump, the king of nuanced restraint, described such zones as "target practice for the sickos and for the mentally ill."

Oh, bluster! In the World's Greatest Pseudo-Democracy that is America, presidential candidates can say anything they want because it's all a show, it's all a game. Our quadrennial presidential election has essentially nothing to do with reality because the country is run by a military-industrial corporatocracy which has, over the last seven decades, constructed a parallel infrastructure that can't be touched by "the people." This has given the Republicans, in particular, plenty of leeway to pander for votes with policy positions and vacuous blather that appeal at the level of junior high consciousness. But the blather is only supposed to travel in one direction.

So when it bounced back, in the form of a satirical but real-seeming petition demanding that guns and "Second Amendment rights" be allowed inside the Quicken Loans Arena, the Secret Service had to step parentally into the controversy and declare: uh, no way. Guns not allowed. And the glorious three, Trump, Cruz and Kasich, all quietly repressed their guns-R-us bombast and acceded to the Secret Service ruling. In the real world, that's what made sense.

"I'm 100 percent genuine in my belief that they should be able to have guns at their convention," the mysterious Jim told Rolling Stone. "It's consistent with state law, and if people who go to movie theaters and malls and shopping places and restaurants have the quote-unquote 'protection' of the open-carrying citizens around them, well, I think the GOP should have the same...

"I'm fighting for their rights by taking them at face value."

He also brought up the awkward possibility that gun-saturated societies are on a dangerous hair-trigger -- that open carry actually increases the possibility of violence -- in which case, why is safety a greater concern at the Republican convention than elsewhere in Ohio? "Is there some variation," he wondered, "in the value of life between presidential candidates, like Donald Trump, and the 7-year-old girl at McDonalds? I'm not sure I understand how they account for that distinction."

So we have yet another layer of surrealism contextualizing the 2016 presidential race. This isn't what's supposed to be happening. It's supposed to be Hillary vs. Jeb and business as usual continues unchallenged, with a wall still separating real America from pseudo-democratic, reality-TV America. We the voters are supposed to remain safely ensconced in our role not as participants in the country's future but as consumers of our favorite brand of election-year bullshit.

We're not supposed to notice that our leaders (and our secret leaders) have no interest in transitioning to a globally cooperative, environmentally sustainable way of being on this planet. We're not supposed to notice that the U.S. military budget remains unchallenged or that our world grows increasingly dangerous as our wars against terror and evil continue unabated.

And even if we do notice, we're supposed to surrender to cynicism and shrug that nothing can be done about it.

And then, I guess, we're supposed to arm ourselves. But I say there's a difference between being armed and being empowered. Just ask Jim.

Robert Koehler is an award-winning, Chicago-based journalist and nationally syndicated writer. Contact him at koehlercw@gmail.com or visit his website at commonwonders.com.

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Six Chicago Teachers' Voices: The Pros and Cons of the Day of Action

At a time when the Chicago Teacher's Union is planning a one-day strike, it's important to remember that while we as teachers may support or oppose the strategy of a Day of Action, we're united by a common set of values around education. We believe that education opens the door to opportunity, and that this door needs to be open whether students live in Lawndale or Little Village, Englewood or Edgewater. We believe that every child deserves a well-trained, effective teacher. And we believe that funding challenges are limiting our city's ability to serve all of its students well. We are aligned on these values - even if we have different ideas about how to achieve them.

We Support the Day of Action:
While jailed for protesting segregation, Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote, "We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people." We are proud that the Chicago Teachers Union has refused to stay silent. The CTU's House of Delegates has voted in support of a 1-day strike on April 1st. This Day of Action is about putting students first. On April 1, Chicago's K-12 educators, college professors, community organizations, labor organizations, and others will stand together to collectively raise an alarm that the citizens of this state can no longer ignore. In the last three years, Chicago has closed 50 schools, cut hundreds of staff members, and frozen teacher pay. Many of our schools lack art classes, after school enrichment, or sports. The city and state are selling out the future of our children by refusing to embrace and argue for additional revenues.

Chicago Public Schools is broke and has exhausted its capacity to borrow. There are two possible paths forward for the district: 1) severe staffing cuts, dramatic increases in class sizes, and more neighborhoods torn apart by school closure; or 2) serious revenue solutions like a progressive income tax. We oppose any solution that does not include additional revenue because of the dramatic effects it will have on our students.

What's more, our recent graduates are now at risk of dropping out of college due to decimated state funding, including suspension of MAP grants. These cuts mean that students have less access to career choices, are less marketable, less competitive, and are less likely to have upward mobility. That is a future we cannot accept for our students, and that is why we support the April 1st Day of Action.

- Casey Fuess (Robert Lindblom Math & Science Academy)
- Andrea Parker (Robert Fulton Elementary)
- Jim Staros (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr College Prep)

We Oppose a One-Day Strike:
We believe that the Chicago Teachers Union wants to do what is right for Chicago's children, but that the union's tactics are misguided. Our schools are severely underfunded, and we believe that CTU wants to protest against the decisions of city and state leaders that threaten our students' education. However, we are concerned that the lack of clarity around the Day of Action will cost us the support of many teachers and the public - because we fear that the public will wonder, as we do, what the purpose of the Day of Action truly is.

First, there has been no clarity about whether teachers are sending a message to CPS or the state. Is CTU protesting against a reduction in the pension pickup, the declaration of three furlough days, or state underfunding? Second, while CTU originally stated that the purpose of the Day of Action is to protest the furlough, it is illogical for this day to fall a week after the furlough. Why not protest on the furlough day itself, or on our professional development day on April 8, and avoid another day that students miss school? Finally, the union has also stated the purpose of the strike is to protest the state's inability to fund its schools adequately. We agree, but then wonder: why we are we protesting in Chicago and not Springfield?

Moreover, we are concerned about the long-term consequences of tit-for-tat and politically-charged actions, particularly at a time when the district and the union are facing a common challenge. The heart of the problem lies with inadequate local and state school funding, and with pension inequity. At this point in our state budget stalemate, creating a unified front to protest at lawmakers' doors will highlight the role that the state has played in underfunding education at every level, from kindergarten through college. We support a unified protest in the state's capital with other unions--and even with CPS -- to fund the education that our students deserve.

- Gina Caneva (Robert Lindblom Math & Science Academy)
- Paige Nilson (Alexander Hamilton Elementary)
- Alexander Kmicikewycz (Gwendolyn Brooks College Preparatory Academy)

While we six teachers differ on whether the union should proceed with the Day of Action, we are unified in recognizing that the current situation cannot continue without hurting the students we serve. Teachers should be at the table to help find an answer to the district's precarious finances, building a coalition to apply pressure on both the city and the state to create sustainable funding solutions. We must stand together to reject separate and unequal educational opportunities. All children--no matter the color of their skin or the wealth of their parents--deserve adequately-resourced schools.

The teachers are Fellows and alumni of Teach Plus Teaching Policy Fellowship.

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Cop Charged With Murdering Laquan McDonald Finds New Job With Police Union

A local police union has hired the officer facing murder charges in the shooting of Laquan McDonald, outraging police accountability advocates and setting up a potential showdown with the city's new police chief.

Jason Van Dyke, the white police officer indicted for first-degree murder in the October 2014 shooting death of McDonald, a black 17-year-old carrying a small knife, is working as a janitor and performing odd jobs at the headquarters of the Fraternal Order of Police, according to news reports.

Van Dyke is suspended from the police force without pay. The job at the FOP pays him $12 an hour, the Chicago Sun-Times reported.

“We do this for our membership and this is what the FOP stands for, fraternalism. This officer is in a very difficult situation, financially, he has a family and we would do it for anybody that works as a Chicago police officer,” Dean Angelo Sr., president of the Chicago FOP, told Chicago's Fox 32 news channel.

The union has “probably” either directly employed or found jobs for 100 officers deprived of their pay for an infraction, Angelo told the Sun-Times.

Chicago activists fighting to end perceived impunity for police officers who kill unarmed black men immediately responded to Van Dyke’s hiring with anger and disbelief.

The F.O.P. just declared war with the people of Chicago. The ultimate slap in the face is to hire a man who shot a child sixteen times

— Jedidiah Brown (@livelifefreed) March 31, 2016

Protesters called for Angelo's resignation as FOP president and the immediate firing of Van Dyke. At a press conference Thursday, they broke into a chant by megaphone: "Who's gotta go? Dean Angelo!" 

Jedidiah Brown, a community leader active in recent police accountability protests, said a protest is planned outside the FOP at 7:30 p.m. Eastern time Thursday. He was unsure of the number of people or groups who would attend, since the protest had been hastily organized, he told The Huffington Post.

“We’re reaching out to organizations and people expressing outrage over his hiring to give voice to the citizens who feel affected by this,” Brown said.

Father Michael Pfleger, a longtime community activist and pastor of St. Sabina church on the city’s South Side, also said Angelo should resign. He called Van Dyke’s hiring a “disgrace.”

“This is an insult. It’s arrogant. It’s the reason we have broken relationships between police now and the community,” Pfleger said. “You take this horrific case that turned the city upside down and now you take us back to ground zero again.”

The Catholic priest said that the police union could have found Van Dyke a job elsewhere if it wanted to help him.

“If I hired someone at the church here who was indicted for killing a cop, they’d have ate me up,” Pfleger added. 

He said he was not sure if he would be able to attend the protest, however.

News of Van Dyke’s comes as Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel (D) seeks to restore trust in the city’s police force and improve his political standing in the process. Emanuel appointed Eddie Johnson as the city’s interim police chief on Sunday, rejecting the candidates recommended by the city’s police board. Appointing Johnson, an African-American veteran of the Chicago police force, as interim chief makes it easier for the mayor to keep him in the top job permanently, should he choose to do so.

Pfleger said he has spoken to Johnson several times and believes he understands the need to rebuild relations between police and the community. But the police union's hiring of Van Dyke “kicks the new police chief in the face,” Pfleger said.

Brown called the Van Dyke controversy Johnson’s “first major test.”

“I am pressuring him to speak to the citizens about their concerns that Van Dyke is being hired even though he shot the young man 16 times,” Brown said. “He has to speak to the heartbeat of it. He will either validate or invalidate further his appointment with what he does in this situation.”

The Chicago Police Department declined to comment, referring requests to the FOP. Angelo did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

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72 Illinois Municipal Managers Made More Than Any U.S. Governor in 2015

A new report featured in Forbes Magazine found 72 city managers of relatively small municipalities in Illinois are paid more than the governors of every state.

Open the Books' annual "Big Dogs" salary report on local government looks not only at city or village managers, but also employees of water districts, park districts, forest preserves and counties, to name a few.

Forbes contributor and founder of OpenTheBooks.com, Adam Andrzejewski, says the results of this year's report are the "most jaw-dropping ever."

From the report:

At a time when many are complaining about Washington, D.C., our data shows that states and local units of government need a lot more scrutiny. That's especially true in Illinois where corruption is our number one manufactured product.

In Illinois, 72 small-town city and village managers out-earn every governor of the 50 states. Another 111 local employees of water districts, airport districts, park districts, counties, forest preserves, mass transit districts, health clinics and planning districts also earn more than the 50 governors ($180,000).

Here are the Top 10 city and village managers in Illinois with the highest pensionable salaries in 2015, according to Andrzejewski.

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Here's Why Blago's 14-Year Prison Sentence Should Be Reduced

OPINION

Tuesday's Reboot Illinois Daily Tip-Off email contained a mention of the Chicago Sun-Times editorial headlined, "Time to rethink Blago's prison time," which advocated for reducing former Gov. Rod Blagojevich's 14-year sentence.

Blagojevich is due to be re-sentenced after a federal appeals court threw out five of his 18 convictions last summer and, on Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear his appeal that all 18 convictions be vacated. The Sun-Times editorial prompted this response from a Daily Tip-Off subscriber:

"Apparently the editorial piece writer on former Gov Rod doesn't understand what a deterrent is meant to do - stupid folks need stronger measures."

That reader is not alone. The Chicago Tribune, in its editorial following the Supreme Court denial, hinted at advocating a longer sentence for the unrepentant Blagojevich:

(T)he 7th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Chicago ... noted that the evidence against Blagojevich was "overwhelming" and that "it is not possible to call (a sentence of) 168 months unlawfully high." That leaves open the possibility that (Judge James) Zagel could increase the sentence if he thinks it's appropriate.

Speaking as someone who had a fairly good seat throughout the grand spectacle of Blagojevich's six-year reign of error over state government, I have two thoughts on this topic.

1. There is no sentence, no matter how long, cruel or unusual, that would deter someone like Rod Blagojevich from using his position for the betterment of himself. The wiretap evidence at his trial showed a man who viewed the world as existing to serve and exalt him. He was annoyed that he was "stuck" being governor and had laughably grandiose visions of himself as a member of a presidential cabinet.

To me, his blatant effort to shake down a horse track owner for a $100,000 campaign contribution was more egregious than his attempted auction of Barack Obama's Senate seat. The Senate seat sale, while more spectacular, was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The racetrack bribe was run-of-the-mill graft that could be committed over and over by a man who prided himself on political fundraising.

2. Blagojevich's 14-year sentence was too long.

I accept the deterrence argument advanced by those who disagree. It's logical: If Blagojevich wasn't deterred by his predecessor George Ryan's six-and-a-half-year sentence on corruption charges, then the court had to up the ante to prevent another Rod Blagojevich.

And by the time Blagojevich was sentenced in 2011 (he began serving his sentence almost exactly four years ago), he had become a despicable character. He spent his pre-trial months on the talk and reality show circuit, apparently unaware of the difference between celebrity and infamy.

He never took responsibility for his actions and remained petulant to the end.

But George Ryan's crimes included creating an environment of corruption that, ultimately, led to the deaths of six children in an accident involving a truck driver who obtained his license through a bribe. Ryan got six-and-a-half years. I can't rectify Blagojevich's corruption warranting more than twice that.

That's a simplistic take on sentencing and our judicial system, I know, but I can't shake the feeling that Blagojevich's sentence crossed the line between justice and vengeance.

UPDATE: Federal prosecutors announced March 30 that they will not re-try Blagojevich on the five vacated charges. It's now up to U.S. District Judge James Zagel to schedule a re-sentencing date.

NEXT ARTICLE: Illinois delegates for Donald Trump fear lack of leadership will hurt him at RNC

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It's Not Just Police Shooting Scandals: Why Prosecutors Across The Country Are Finally Losing Elections

During Chicago's most recent Election Day, voters made it clear to the top prosecutor of the nation's second-largest county that it was time to start packing. 

Anita Alvarez, the state's attorney for Cook County who had waited more than a year to indict the officer who shot 17-year-old Laquan McDonald, lost her bid for re-election that night -- badly. In Ohio, so did Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Timothy McGinty, who had declined to indict the cop who shot 12-year-old Tamir Rice.

Criminal justice reform groups hailed the unseating of two prosecutors who had bungled major police shooting cases as an important win. "This could be a sea change and might mean that prosecutors might become more accountable to the public," Daniel Medwed, a Northeastern University law professor specializing in criminal law, said via email. "This is largely attributable to Black Lives Matter and the attention paid to prosecutorial decisions about how to proceed."

Alvarez and McGinty's defeats were certainly notable. On average, incumbent prosecutors win re-election 95 percent of the time (in districts with more than 100,000 voters, like Cook and Cuyahoga counties, the rate dips to 90 percent). They win re-election slightly more often than state lawmakers, according to a study from Ohio State University's law school. Between 55 and 80 percent of the time, prosecutors run for re-election unopposed.

Yet while reform groups targeted both Alvarez and McGinty because of high-profile national scandals, this only partially explains why the two prosecutors lost.

In fact, some experts now say that a string of incumbent defeats across the country suggests it doesn't take a Black Lives Matter-specific flashpoint for voters to reject incumbent prosecutors. For many DAs, their longstanding embrace of tough-on-crime policies is reason enough.

"DAs almost never lose elections," said John Pfaff, a professor at Fordham University's law school. "And now they’re starting to."

While Pfaff says McGinty's ouster was "entirely a rejection for his failure to prosecute Tamir Rice's shooter," Alvarez had a history of advancing harsh and seemingly vindictive policies during her tenure. 

But Pfaff cites the defeats of two prosecutors in the deep South as even more revealing examples of how voters are beginning to reject a decades-old approach to crime along with the incumbents themselves.

In November, Mississippi voters sacked District Attorney Forrest Allgood after 27 years in office. The Washington Post described Allgood as "one of America's worst prosecutors" due to his aggressive prosecutions against vulnerable defendants, including a 13-year-old boy and an intellectually disabled young woman. Both convictions were overturned. 

"Allgood lost to someone smarter on crime, less tough on crime," Pfaff said. "That's a much more promising trend."

In Louisiana's Caddo Parish, which includes Shreveport, acting District Attorney Dale Cox faced such long odds that he pulled out of the race before the November election. Cox, who was in and out of the district attorney's office for thirty years, established a shockingly high record of capital murder convictions: Caddo Parish is home to roughly five percent of the state's population, but accounts for a third of the state's death sentences -- several of which have been overturned. 

That's a sign of a major shift in public sentiment. In the 1980s and 1990s, when crime rates were significantly higher than they are today, prosecutors embraced policies like "three strikes" laws and mandatory minimum sentences. Then-Vice President George H.W. Bush's thumping of Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis in the 1988 presidential election stood for years as a clear signal to elected officials that being tough on crime was a key to victory. 

During a 1996 speech on crime at New Hampshire’s Keene State College, then-first lady Hillary Clinton infamously invoked the term "super predator," a junk science term that predicted a wave of fearless, brutal, amoral juveniles who would kill, rape or steal without remorse.

As crime rates have declined, however, prosecutors have been slow to adjust to the new reality. "They retained those policies even as crime was falling, which makes it hard to justify those policies now," Pfaff said. 

Accusing your opponent of being "soft on crime" "no longer seems to be the dependable political cudgel it once was," reported the online journalism nonprofit The Marshall Project last year. 

Rob Smith, a senior fellow at Harvard Law School’s Charles Hamilton Houston Institute for Race and Justice, also notes that local prosecutors have become more visible thanks to increased media coverage of incidents like the Laquan McDonald shooting. Consequently, the public is becoming more aware of the unilateral decision-making power they wield.

"Prosecutors have a lot discretion over what crimes they charge," Smith said. "There’s a saying that a jury can indict a ham sandwich. But if you can indict a ham sandwich, why can’t you indict a cop who killed a kid?" 

There’s a saying that a jury can indict a ham sandwich. But if you can indict a ham sandwich, why can’t you indict a cop who killed a kid?
Rob Smith, Charles Hamilton Houston Institute for Race and Justice

That doesn't mean putting lots of people in prison has fallen completely out of favor, Pfaff noted. County prosecutors may still find support for such tactics in the suburban parts of their district. 

"Suburbs feel the benefits of the city being safer," he said. "They feel the risk of drugs coming their neighborhood being kept at bay, they feel safer when they commute to work in the city … but they don’t feel the costs of that enforcement." 

The result, Pfaff said, is that "we sort of allow the suburbs to have a say in how policing affects the city."

Mariame Kaba, who has backed an array of racial justice, anti-criminalization and anti-violence organizations in Chicago for nearly three decades, cites Cook County as a prime example of suburban voters' influence on urban policy.

"You see this divide over city and suburbs: Suburbs love 'tough on crime' because it doesn’t affect them," she says. "To them, it’s black and brown people who are running wild and need a firm hand to tamp them down."

Suburban voters will continue to have disproportionate power in prosecutor elections, Pfaff said. But, he added, the Black Lives Matter movement has proved to be a powerful entry point for increasing support for various criminal justice reform issues. 

Many more district attorneys who have prosecuted aggressively and punitively will be replaced in the next five years, Smith predicts.

"I think you’re going to see a lot more progressive candidates running for office, you're going to a see a lot of places with more contested elections, and see more places where an incumbent prosecutor is ousted," he said. 

Pfaff believes that even in places like Maricopa County, Arizona, or Harris County, Texas -- both notorious for their tough-on-crime approach -- more-engaged voters could soon rein in aggressive prosecutors.  

"We could be on the precipice of one of the most important changes in history about how the state and individuals interact with each other," Pfaff said. 

Just four weeks ago, voters in Corpus Christi, Texas, voted out Mark Skurka, the county district attorney. Skurka and his office had been accused of misconduct, which Pfaff said "appalled" voters and local journalists alike. 

"A tattooed defense lawyer ran against him in the primary and won," Pfaff said. "I think that’s powerful."

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What To Really Expect When You're Expecting. The Lost Chapters.

When I was a little girl I always dreamed of getting married and having kids. I wanted to have five kids. I just couldn't wait to be a mom. I thought it would be so fun and that I'd be really good at it.

When I was pregnant with my kids I read every single what to expect book there was out there. I was prepared. Knowledge is power and I was full of both.

All the books I read were great, but I think they forgot a few chapters. When I look at my life now, it doesn't seem like anything I have ever read about. I mean, like, not even close. So I took it upon myself to add a few chapters.

Chapter 1: "So You Had Four Kids in Four Years, What the F Were You Thinking?"

Clearly, thinking wasn't our strong suit. There was no actual thought involved. There was, however, plenty of alcohol and poor decision making.

A picture popped up on my Facebook page the other day. It was of my three oldest kids when we brought our third home from the hospital. This picture scares the bajaysus out of me. The scariest part is that we brought home another baby fourteen months later. How in God's name we thought to get pregnant again with three freaking diapered babies at home I'll never know.



It's all just such a blur. I remember truly loving every second of it. But when I see this picture now, I have a full on panic attack.

Nothing can prepare you for the looks you get in public. Nothing can prepare you for the comments people feel obligated to make. Perfect strangers commenting about your blatant lack of birth control. Total randoms expressing their sheer horror in the way you've decided to space your offspring.

I used to look at these people and think they were so rude. I used to think that they were the crazy ones. But I am now one of those people.

Chapter 2 "Your Fourth Child is Born Missing a Chromosome, So Your First Three Kids Will Now Be Neglected"

It's just the reality of it. When you get that kind of diagnosis your entire life is flipped upside down. Every waking moment is spent focused on that one kid. It's only natural.

Your other children learn to fend for themselves. It's survival of the fittest. Until the day comes when you realize you still have four kids and not just one. And then you have to play catch up. Like when you meet your friends at the bar and everyone is already drunk. It's really, really hard.

The day eventually comes that you realize no one can tie their own shoes. Except the kid missing the chromosome. No one can count. Except the kid missing the chromosome. No one can do a somersault or hop on one foot. Except the kid missing the chromosome.

Whoopsies.

But it's okay. Turns out it's even better therapy to have the kid missing the chromosome teach the others how to do everything. Money cannot buy these types of services.

Chapter 3 "You Have Two Gender Creative Kids, Good Luck With That"

You give birth to healthy kids. They are adorable and are meeting all of their milestones. You are relieved. Until they start wanting to dress as the opposite sex. Whoa didn't see that one coming, did you?

Nothing can prepare you for this. It's uncharted waters. You're totally on your own. You have no idea what you're dealing with or how to deal with it.

You will learn a lot. About your child. About your spouse. About your friends. About your former friends. About how ugly people can really be.

But you will come out of it such a better person. You will be a more accepting, loving person. You will understand the struggles of others like you never could before.

You will also discover just how amazing people can be. You will meet new people who will make your life so much better. You will teach your other children what love and acceptance really is.

This chapter is still a work in progress. And probably always will be. Like most of the chapters in my life.

Chapter 4 "You Will Do Things You Never Thought in a Million Years You Would Do"

Besides a drunken night or two in college, I generally don't sleep in other people's urine. But that all changed when I became a mom. Now I do it almost nightly. If the bed is dry I just can't get comfortable.

I have used my pasta strainer to get poop out of the tub so that we can finish bath time without having to drain the last of the hot water. Think about that the next time you come to my house for a spaghetti dinner.

The very first time my oldest bled I didn't want to pick him up because I had a cute shirt on and didn't want to ruin it. He was about fifteen months old and terrified. But I wasn't about to ruin a perfectly good blouse. Nowadays I can get pooh on my shirt and find it perfectly acceptable to wipe it with a wet paper towel and be on my merry freaking way. What smell? I don't smell anything.

I have taken a drink out of a child's cup that has more food than beverage in it. But only because I was super thirsty. This is something I would have never thought myself capable of before kids. But that's what being a parent is all about.

In the end, nothing can ever prepare you for becoming a parent. Nothing. You can read all the books you want, seek all the expert advice you want, watch every movie ever made about parenting. But you just learn as you go. You learn from your experiences.

Although, I'm starting to realize that there are some things you never actually figure out. You just roll with it. I really believe that nobody knows what the hell they are doing. Just like me. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Read more by Eileen O'Connor at No Wire Hangers, Ever

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Love and Boxing: The Coach Changing Lives on Chicago's West Side

Chicago has become an almost automatic citation by police brutality apologists: when a cop kills an unarmed citizen anywhere in America and faces the backlash one rightly receives when executing a human being, the defense (if one can call it a defense) is "What about gang violence and crime in places like Chicago? People should fix their own communities before criticizing police!" And aside from the fact that this is a derailing tactic that in no way answers for out of control cops, the answer is simple: Chicagoans already are trying to address the issues of its communities, and has been for a long time. There's Chance the Rapper and his efforts to address homelessness. Black Youth Project, Kids Off the Block, and many organizations designed to end violence and achieve harmony. And then there's Jamyle Cannon.

Cannon is a teacher on the West Side of Chicago at DRW College Prep, a school where four shootings happened nearby last Monday alone, and he knows firsthand what his students are up against. Gang violence. Poverty. Food deserts. Traveling through hostile territory just to get to school. But there are other battles they face, he says, that aren't often mentioned when the media discusses the world of his kids, and he's seen that firsthand too: education inequality, its impact on the outcomes of black and brown kids, and a nation that seemingly refuses to grant them the luxury of being kids.

"We've had kids from 12-17 years old, and no matter how tough the exterior, it doesn't take long to find that they're all just kids," Cannon says. "They have huge dreams for themselves and no clue how to catch them. They can finish a fight without a problem, but can be brought to tears if I express disappointment in them."

Cannon knew there were things his students weren't getting, and this is what led him to start a boxing program, he says: he wanted to create a safe space and a place for nurturing and growth. But he never expected the results to be as mind-blowing as they are.



"Students in the boxing club, despite starting the school year with below average GPAs, ended the first semester with an average GPA of 3.32, compared to the school-wide 2.7. Students in the boxing program through Semester 1 grew 14 percent more on standardized tests than the student population. Last year, male students entering the boxing club in Semester 2 received 52 percent fewer discipline reports than they received in the semester before entering the club. The longer students are in boxing, the stronger their results. One of the longest lasting students just had his ACT score grow seven points."

As incredible as the scholastic outcomes are, Cannon notices even bigger gains in ways that can't be measured by GPA. Kids come to his club thinking they're going to learn to fight, and instead learn how to control those impulses. They develop life skills that prepare them for college -- with Cannon providing special shirts to kids who have been accepted into colleges, who are then recognized by their peers. They learn sportsmanship and grace.



"I have a million stories like this," Cannon says. "Our longest standing member, Tyler, now a junior, competed in the Golden Gloves recently. He lost. There was only one decision booed by the crowd, and it happened after the judges gave a win to the opponent Tyler had clearly beaten for three rounds. But while the crowd booed? Tyler congratulated his opponent and helped him out of the ring. You can't tell me this program doesn't work. That same kid -- Tyler -- has been selected into the Peace Exchange program, a highly selective program that sends proven student leaders across the world to learn strategies that advocate peace in order to implement them in their communities."



Like most athletic programs, getting the funding for the club is difficult, but the parents and community see the difference Cannon is making, and the club has raised $19,000 to date.

"The majority of the money went toward equipment," Cannon says. "The sheer amount of stuff needed to run a gym is unbelievable, and the implications of working in a school that's a historic landmark only adds to the list. Our school was at one point the coal powerhouse for the original Sears Tower. It's not meant to be a gym."

And added to that: the students keep coming. As word spreads about the DRW Boxing Club -- a place to learn skills, a place to learn strength, a place to be cared for -- new students approach Cannon every day. On the bus stop. In the hall. He tells them the only thing they have to do to join is show up. And they do.

"This program has made me take a critical look at the level of disservice we are willing to tolerate for our children in America. All of our kids are poor and black or brown, and we seem to have a pretty high tolerance for the suffering of people who fall into those categories. We'll let poor kids go without lights and proper nutrition. We'll let black and brown kids feel ostracized, feared, and undervalued. For a kid on the West Side, the stakes are high. For all of the people working to better the community, it still stands that being somewhere at the wrong time could literally change or end a life. In a way, this club is a space where I get to say, 'Come, be a kid. Have fun. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Be your best self.' I want people to know what all kids are capable of if we invest in them -- if we stop letting them go without their basic needs of safety, belonging, and love. Things don't have to be like they are."

Click here to learn more about the DRW Boxing Club and read the full interview with Jamyle Cannon here.

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Top 25 School Districts Doing The Most Deficit Spending in 2016

Nearly 60 percent of Illinois school districts are expected to be deficit spending during fiscal year 2016, according to new data from the Illinois State Board of Education.

In FY15, school districts issued $307.2 million in new debt in their operating funds, a decrease of $49.3 million from $356.5 million in FY14. While that's almost a 14 percent drop over the year, the board of education says the majority of districts rely on borrowing to generate cash flow.



Based on revenue and expenditure projections submitted by school districts for their FY16 budgets, the number of districts operating with deficits will increase slightly to 499 (58.6 percent) from 490 (57.2 percent) in FY15, according to the board's recently released School District Financial Profile Scores report. Deficit spending is calculated by analyzing a district's four main operational funds: educational, operation and maintenance, student transportation and working cash.



Here are the Top 25 largest surplus- and deficit-spending school districts in FY16, according to the most recent data from the board of education.

The number of schools and students enrolled in each district as well as the operating expense per pupil (OEPP) are from Illinois Report Card. Cash reserves figures are from districts' 2015 annual financial reports and show the total amount in unreserved funds as of June 30, 2015.

NEXT ARTICLE: These 32 Illinois school districts have the worst financial health in 2016

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When Will Chicago Teachers and Illinois Politicians Act Like Grown-Ups and Actually Think About Our Kids?

Opinion by Reboot Illinois' Madeleine Doubek

My family has been quite, um, productive lately.

I mentioned quite a while back that I come from a big family. I'm the youngest of eight kids, so it's not all that surprising that the next generation, my nephews and nieces, would be adding to the family about now. But it's funny how it seems to happen in spurts.

Jim and Denise will have their hands full when they add twin boys this summer to their family that already includes first-born toddler, James Mario. Julie is bringing her second son into the world in late May, giving Jack a baby brother. Frank and Danielle just revealed they're joining in and will welcome a sibling in the fall for Nora Cathleen. Add these babes on the way to the other twins and 10 other marvels we have already in that generation and, by the dawn of 2017, we'll be up to 16 in the extended clan.

Nothing better in the world, right? Well, darn right! Still, I can't help but worry about all of them. These new additions will live in Illinois, as do a few other great nieces and nephews who already are here. And really, I mean, what are we doing to them and all the others like them?

I don't get it. I check Facebook for the latest updates on all those families and then I consider what else I see. Headlines like these: "Cook County shows biggest population decline in U.S," "Chicago area sees greatest population loss of any major U.S. city, region in 2015."

Meanwhile, Chicago teachers are supposed to walk out of their classrooms on April Fools Day and could go out on a full-fledged strike in May. Our public universities are collapsing, along with our pothole-filled streets. Gang warfare is out of control in certain Chicago neighborhoods. Our state politicians sit on their hands, making up excuses about how they're slaves to their leaders, while the leaders argue over whether one of them called and asked to meet with the other.

Wait. So, who are the children here?

And why aren't there more of us with children we love in Illinois raising more of a ruckus over all this nonsense by the adults who play pretend at being our leaders?

Our lives and our futures all are intertwined, unless or until we leave Illinois. Don't you see?

None of us trust government and its history of political corruption in Illinois. We're in month nine of no state budget, so many businesses aren't going to take a risk by adding jobs or expanding in this shaky climate. That adds to joblessness.

Chicago's finances are a mess. Its credit just was downgraded two more notches by an independent agency. Chicago's debt is skyrocketing. Illinois' finances are a mess and its debt is skyrocketing without a budget. It was a mess in Illinois before any of that, with the worst pension debt in the nation.

And yet, Chicago teachers are walking out, believing they aren't being treated fairly. I come from a family of teachers, but I just don't get it. One day isn't going to do too much damage to our children, but why walk out on them? What message does that really send? As President Obama likes to remind us, our children will watch us. Children will listen. They will learn from our actions. I get that a lot of union members believe they've been wronged and they don't believe the numbers, but I think we're a lot closer to trying to squeeze blood from the turnip than they do.

It's all intertwined. We don't trust government. Government fails us. That hurts jobs and fewer jobs means less tax revenue to pay teachers and cops and firefighters. Mostly, it hurts the children.

Nearly one quarter of every dollar we send to Springfield goes to pay public workers who no longer work. They're retired. That quarter is going to pay their pensions. That leaves 75 cents for all the public grade schools and high schools and universities and state police and parks and health care and everything else.

So, as the politicians sit on their hands and refuse to make a move until after the November elections, we're hit with teacher walk-outs and word that our most populous city and county are hemorrhaging people.

It's all intertwined. The more people leave Illinois, the more the few who remain will have to pay in taxes to cover the cops and firefighters and teachers.

The more we let the politicians we elected dicker around and shirk their duties, the harder it will be on those babes in the wombs in my family and yours.

I don't want to do that to Jimmy and Jack or Declan and June or Nora, nor to any of those babes in production. What about you and yours?

NEXT ARTICLE: Time for the Chicago Housing Authority to do its job, Andy Shaw writes

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A 'Protest' Against Tammy Duckworth May Not Have Been Real

WASHINGTON -- Rep. Tammy Duckworth (D-Ill.) was greeted by a few dozen African-American protesters outside a Monday gathering in Chicago. They held up handwritten signs accusing the Senate candidate of ignoring their community and chanted that it was time for her to go.

But when they started talking to the press, something was off.

One demonstrator asked a Chicago Tribune reporter "whether Duckworth is a Democrat or a Republican" and said he was being paid "by the man who sponsored" the protest. Before he could say more, other demonstrators nearby told him to stop talking. The group then refused to answer questions about why they were there or if they were supporters of Sen. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.), whom Duckworth is trying to unseat in November.

Blue Nation Review, a progressive blog, reported that an attendee at Duckworth's event recognized some of the protesters as residents of a local homeless shelter. Demonstrators were also fine with accepting food from Duckworth's campaign. The Chicago Sun-Times observed that staffers brought out bacon and eggs after the event ended, and protesters munched away.

So who was leading these protesters, and were they being paid?

Sean Savett, a spokesman for the Illinois Democratic Party, passed along a video of the Kirk campaign's field director, Matthew Custardo, offering coffee and donuts to those demonstrating against Duckworth. Savett said a Democratic colleague who was at the event witnessed Custardo "organizing and encouraging the protesters."

Kirk campaign spokesman Kevin Artl said the campaign didn't organize the protesters or pay them. He confirmed that Custardo was there, but said he wasn't directing operations. Artl said Custardo was there as a tracker, filming the scene outside Duckworth's "unity breakfast" with local black leaders. Some Democratic state officials had planned to boycott the event because they didn't think Duckworth had done enough to prioritize the black community.

"We don't have a large staff, so the only one we assigned to track that event from our campaign was Matt," Artl said in an email. "We were trying to get a good idea of who was attending the breakfast and who was boycotting."

But Savett noted that former Kirk campaign staffer Jeff Coleman, who previously did urban outreach for the senator, was mixed in with the protesters. Savett also pointed to a second person in another video who he claimed comes to Duckworth events "all the time" to track activities for Kirk. That individual, who Savett said works for the conservative group America Rising, appears to be carrying a camera at Monday's event.

Artl emphasized that that tracker "is not on our campaign" and said it is "totally inaccurate" to say that Custardo was there to do anything but document people going in and out of the meeting. He also said there was nothing unusual about Custardo mingling with protesters and offering them coffee.

"There were 60 people outside protesting Tammy Duckworth -- you better believe we were going to talk to them, and I have no qualms about buying them a cup of coffee either," Artl said.

A Duckworth campaign spokesman did not respond to a request for comment.

This isn't the first time that things have looked sketchy in the Kirk-Duckworth race. In November, Kirk supporters were caught using a fake minimum wage petition to put his name on the ballot. The Kirk campaign denied any involvement.

The Illinois Senate race is shaping up to be one of the closest and most expensive races of the year. Polling from last summer showed Duckworth with a slight lead, and she raised more money in the last quarter of 2015 -- $1.6 million to Kirk's $1 million.

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Your Favorite Museums Are Sharing Their Deep, Dark Secrets On Twitter

It's #MuseumWeek, an occasion that happens mostly on Twitter, but also in the very real hallways of institutions like the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Guggenheim Bilbao.

From March 28 to April 3, 2016, a regiment of hashtags is meant to raise awareness of the people, places and things that make art go 'round in the 21st century. Curators are sharing stories, famous havens are revealing secrets, audiences are recommending new ideas. All the conversations happening online, though, are aimed at directing you from your computer screen to the front lines of exhibitions. Get thee to an art museum!

So far, 45,000-plus tweets have mentioned at least one of the eight hashtags designated for this year's Museum Week. Our favorite -- and the first to be deployed -- is probably #SecretsMW, for which museums have been airing their deep, not-so-dark private affairs. Did you know Frank Lloyd Wright wanted to name the Guggenheim building in New York City the "Archeseum"? Neither did we.

Art nerds, here are some random facts you never knew you need in your life:

Did you know we have honeybees on our roof? #secretsMW #MuseumWeek #NewWhitney http://pic.twitter.com/O1ClvTDXoR

— Whitney Museum (@whitneymuseum) March 28, 2016

Two of our #Hoppers keep @POTUS company in the Oval Office. #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/9814yhmmMa

— Whitney Museum (@whitneymuseum) March 28, 2016

Did you know The Met has the largest collection of Van Gogh’s work in the U.S.? https://t.co/CDR4qMp1P6 #SecretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/vJCc26Eqa6

— The Met (@metmuseum) March 28, 2016

The Met has the oldest piano in existence created by the inventor of the piano. https://t.co/jhBwpOAmbW #SecretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/Fxx801bdvq

— The Met (@metmuseum) March 28, 2016

A Jenny Holzer Living series plaque is tucked away on Fl 2 near the bookstore. #SecretsMW https://t.co/UKhpBW9hRc http://pic.twitter.com/yAglnPuRAb

— Museum of Modern Art (@MuseumModernArt) March 28, 2016

A Ferrari 641 Formula 1 racing car hangs in our education building. #SecretsMW https://t.co/2rwv1zd71B http://pic.twitter.com/pTCPne9TH4

— Museum of Modern Art (@MuseumModernArt) March 29, 2016

What's (literally) behind Rauschenberg’s fabled "Erased de Kooning Drawing"? https://t.co/0oGN2iITSQ #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/c2KTlZVPLl

— SFMOMA (@SFMOMA) March 28, 2016

Frank Lloyd Wright wished to name the Guggenheim building the “Archeseum:” https://t.co/bhkenI7W4i #SecretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/kyDvAk20Mj

— Guggenheim Museum (@Guggenheim) March 28, 2016

Each of our sculptures in storage has its own preferred sleeping position. #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/gKmswkEcaU

— Hammer Museum (@hammer_museum) March 28, 2016

Each morning at the Gallery begins with a thorough dusting session from our Framing team #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/KhCTJ3vZg2

— Portrait Gallery (@NPGLondon) March 28, 2016

Our oldest portrait is of King Henry VII (1505), probably painted for an unsuccessful marriage proposal #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/qCfFO6lmCP

— Portrait Gallery (@NPGLondon) March 28, 2016

There's #fossils in the marble floor of the #NationalArchives! Do you know what this one is? (We don't!) #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/DyxOQ9bid1

— US National Archives (@USNatArchives) March 28, 2016

What does #backstage of the Globe theatre look like? Like this> #SecretsMW. http://pic.twitter.com/TqxcTkbJ0D

— Shakespeare's Globe (@The_Globe) March 23, 2015

The Museum is a ship sailing the river to unload all its art #SecretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/4jRO4CQXsQ

— Guggenheim Bilbao (@MuseoGuggenheim) March 29, 2016

Did you know that the gallery in which Richard Serra’s works are exhibited is as big as a football field? #SecretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/jguawI3DuV

— Guggenheim Bilbao (@MuseoGuggenheim) March 29, 2016

The stamps on this poster indicate that it isn't a replica—this print actually hung at the Moulin Rouge! #SecretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/pnNP4ynIMe

— SD Museum of Art (@SDMA) March 29, 2016

When building was finished & the lake was filled, the water drained out & flooded the underground. Oops #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/5QzrJrHqew

— Barbican Centre (@BarbicanCentre) March 28, 2016

We were founded by 25 women who sought to bring a different sort of culture to the cattle-focused city. #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/RJly8KbVEM

— The Modern (@themodernfw) March 29, 2016

Our resident egret Edgar follows visitors around each day, keeping two steps closely behind. #SecretsMW #MuseumWeek http://pic.twitter.com/0GYW0yGvIV

— Morikami Museum (@morikamimuseum) March 29, 2016

Our walls are painted in a custom shade of white called "HMA White" #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/8hfaMM1o4Q

— High Museum (@HighMuseumofArt) March 28, 2016

Our resident hedgehog, Bill Spikes is our best kept secret. He lives down in the basement kitchen #secretsMW http://pic.twitter.com/C5IezND3hz

— Dickens Museum (@DickensMuseum) March 28, 2016

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To 'Trifling' Brothers: Time To Man Up

CHICAGO--I stood in the flickering light, warming my hands by a trashcan that a few men in line with me had stuffed with wooden sticks and assorted debris--anything that would burn.

The night was cold, sometime during the Reagan years when there seemed little hope of trickle-down economics ever reaching ghetto America. And yet, we had hope that night, if only a glimmer, raised by the prospect of a new company opening.

So we stood, scores of men, all night long, warming ourselves as best we could. Motivated by the prospect of a job, we hovered, smoke seeping into our clothes and nostrils as we awaited daybreak just to put in an application with no guarantees.

I have seen superwomen, children in tow,
braving the elements and life's circumstances alone.

I was about 20. But I never forgot that night, how the smoke lingered in my skin for weeks and hung stubbornly on my clothes, like the stench of poverty.

The necessity of my presence in that line was for me at the time a source of shame. I thought I deserved better than a near minimum-wage job. I was smart. I had big dreams of being a professional someday. Except dreams don't pay the bills or put shoes on my children's feet.

I learned a long time ago that a man's got to do what a man's got to do.

And yet, I am reminded by the stories of far too many sisters and by the cold hard statistics on single working mothers--that far too many men aren't doing what we are supposed to do.

I am reminded that we live in a time where many men check in for the making of babies but check out for the taking care of them; a time when full-grown males--of voting and working age--and other sorry brothers, now nearer to social security than to their high school prom, have grown accustomed to leaching off some hardworking sister--in some cases, their own mamas.

They simply exist. No job. No prospects. No plan. No drive. And no shame. Only excuses.

I have heard some sisters' tales of sons, husbands and lovers exercising their daily ritual of chilling in the basement, smoking blunts and drinking forties and thumbing the Xbox 360 or PlayStation while the woman of the house "holds it down."

Or it is like a scene from "Baby Boy" where the spoiled mama's boy, who is the movie's main character, drops his girlfriend off at her job--in her car--then joyrides for much of the day.

In real life, maybe a sister takes the bus. At dawn, she arises to get the kids fed and dressed for school or the babysitter, then trudges off to work, managing a smile for yet another day while the "man" in her life plays a disappearing act. And when she arrives home after a hard day's work, there is no scent of hot supper spilling from the oven, or of bleach and pine cleaner--only nothingness.

Some sisters are enablers and trifling too, I know. But that is a story for another day. All I know is that brothers have no excuse.

And yet, I have seen superwomen, children in tow, braving the elements and life's circumstances alone. And I can think of a few choice words for my trifling brothers and other irresponsible men of all races: If you're a man, stand up. If you're in the basement, get up. And if you really care, man, show up.

That night I warmed my hands until by the fire I never did get a call back, not even an interview. But I'd do it again a thousand times. Whatever it takes to man up.

Email: Author@johnwfountain.com
Website: http://ift.tt/1SeBmcf

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The Man Flu. Give Me a Freaking Break.

There was a report on the news the other morning that the man flu is a real thing. My husband, Beau, couldn't wait for me to get out of the shower to tell me this. I haven't seen him that happy in a long time. Like all he's ever needed was some goof to come out with a study stating men are big babies.

I wonder how much that guy was paid to do that study. And yes, of course, it was conducted by a man. I guarantee you I could have done my own study for half the price.

This was not a revelation to me. I know all too well that the man flu is a real thing. I've experienced it. All too often. Starting back when I was a kid.

When I think back now on my childhood I can remember every single time my Dad had the man flu. He only owned one single pair of pajamas and he only wore them when he was sick. Looking back, this was his way of letting the world know he was sick. We just didn't have a name for it then. But if those pajamas were on, he was suffering from the man flu.

Funny. I don't recall my mom being sick. Ever.

Now I'm a mom. So that means I've been puked on. Peed on. Pooped on. Sometimes all three at once. Sometimes by multiple children all at once. But I'll take all four kids simultaneously puking, peeing, and pooping on me over my husband having the freaking man flu any day.

First of all, let's define man flu. It's what women commonly refer to as the sniffles. If you're a woman, you go on with your day. Maybe you throw a few extra tissues in your pocket. But besides that, you continue taking care of business.

One time, I was lying in bed with a 103 degree fever. I also had strep throat. I was also pregnant at the time. With two babies at home. Beau rolls on through the door after being away all day and tells me he thinks he's coming down with "something."

The only thing he was about to come down with was my foot right up his ass. Bless his heart.

I'm lying there, in a pool of my own secretions, burning up with fever, my throat feeling like a million razor blades are ripping it apart every time I swallow. And this sonofabitch had to blow his nose today and wants to call an ambulance.

This normally goes on for days. The man feeling as though he's coming down with something. I'd prefer if they actually came down with it already. You feel like something is coming on? You're either sick or you're not. You don't get three days to complain that you think you might be soon.

And if you ask me again to take your temperature you're going to have to bend over. Oh that's not how your Mom used to do it? I'm not your mom. Call her.

I can also see this in my kids. My son flaps around on the bathroom floor. Tears falling from his face. As he misses the toilet every time. Just like a real grown man.

I can remember one time in particular that he was really sick with the flu. We were in the bathroom and in between pukes, he tells me that he's yelling at God in his head to make it stop but God isn't listening to him. Well, God is a man. Perhaps He's got a case of the sniffles Himself and isn't answering prayers right now.

On the other hand, I love it when my daughter gets sick. She's amazing. Like a machine. She gets up, walks into the bathroom, and yaks her brains out without so much as a splash. She rinses her mouth out after wiping down the toilet with a Lysol wipe for good measure. She then declares she's better and goes about her day until it's time to puke again. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Women are the stronger sex. We all know this. It's not a secret. We are the ones who give birth for a reason. Because we can freaking handle it.

We don't run to the doctor every time we get a cold. We do a shot of DayQuil and get on with our day. Unless our fever is over 102 degrees, we don't even sit down, let alone lie down.

To quote one of my all time fave movies, Follow That Bird: A man is crying and is told to, "Be a man." The crying man responds, "But I don't want to be a man." Exactly.

Read more by Eileen O'Connor at No Wire Hangers, Ever blog.

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