Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Signs You're The Weakest Link On Your Bar Trivia Team


Bar trivia is a weekly treat for most young professionals. Said young professionals work long hours, so bar trivia is the one night a week when they can finally get crazy. And you, as the weakest link on the team, might be ruining that experience for them.


Here are some signs you are the weakest link on your bar trivia team.



  • No one ever confirms whether or not you'll actually be there on any given week.

  • Whenever you go to the bathroom, everyone notices the team gels significantly better.

  • Your expertise is something like "actors who've also released albums." It was funny at first, but now you're really just taking up a spot on the roster.

  • The rest of the team tries to stop you from getting drunk so you can no longer use that as an excuse for your poor performance.

  • While most people would boast about the questions they got correct, you boast about how you steered the conversation so that someone could arrive at the correct answer.

  • Your teammates have told you on certain weeks that no one was going to trivia. But you went anyway because you had nothing else to do. And they were all there. Playing trivia.

  • In fact, you work with some of the people on the team, and often get the feeling that on trivia night, they don't seem very available.

  • Some of them sit really close to you, actually.

  • Some might say a little too close.

  • Some might also say that your name is Jeremy.

  • And that this is you, JEREMY.




  • And, while you're a perfectly nice human being, JEREMY, you're bringing our trivia team down.

  • Week after week, your team is saddled with a massive ball and chain. A massive ball and chain named Jeremy.

  • You don't even realize I'm photographing you right now, Jeremy.




  • It's this level of awareness and intelligence we've come to expect from you.

  • Jeremy.




  • Please stop coming to trivia.

  • Jeremy.


 


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